


The Archer, The God, and The Soldier

by CronbachAlpha



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack Pairing, M/M, Rare Pairing, Threesome - M/M/M, Thunderhawk, ménage à trois, winterhawk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-15
Updated: 2014-06-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 22:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1619207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CronbachAlpha/pseuds/CronbachAlpha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It didn't make sense to anyone - not even them - as to how the hell they ever happened, nor how the hell it worked. But Clint didn't complain. They're the best thing to ever happen to him and he genuinely can't imagine his life without either of them in it. He really just wished they weren't complete alpha males half the goddamn time."</p><p>A collection of short stories about the life of Clint and his two lovers: Thor and Bucky.</p><p>(Title ma change)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Protective

 

            It didn't make sense to anyone - not even them - as to how the hell they ever happened, nor how the hell it worked. But Clint didn't complain. They're the best thing to ever happen to him and he genuinely can't imagine his life without either of them in it.

            He really just wished they weren't complete alpha males half the goddamn time.

            Clint had, long ago, grew used to the occasional snide remarks made at him for the whole mess with Loki, regarding his loyalty and his mental capacity. He just learned to tune them out, completely, and move on.

            Bucky and Thor, though, were a different story.

           It started off as an argument regarding a call made by Clint on a mission to _not_ kill their mark, opting, instead, to capture him, when the agent made a snide remark about his brainwashing, which went along the lines of making him a sympathizer for mass murderers and insinuated Clint did so to “ride him”.

            In Bucky’s earshot.

            Before the archer even had time to respond, he saw a blur go past him and he turned, the former Winter Soldier having slammed the agent up against the wall by his metal throat, eyes dark, growling. Legitimately growling.

            “James, down,” Clint ordered, pointing his finger to the floor like he was telling a dog to heel. Bucky, for his part, opted to ignore him, keeping his eyes trained on the agent. If he wasn’t deprogrammed of his Winter Soldier self, Clint had no doubt he’d snap the man’s neck in two.

            Well, he still might.

            “Just scaring him,” Bucky said, calmly, still growling up at the man. He was giving the man a look that simply dared him to make another comment. It was one thing to speak ill of the former Winter Soldier to his face, it was another thing to insult his lover.

            “I said put. Him. Down,” Clint commanded, again. Bucky just shot a glance at him as Clint could hear familiar, heavy footsteps from behind and he looked up at a warm hand on his shoulder.

            “Is there a problem?”

            “Thor, thank god, someone remotely sane,” Clint sighed. The thunder god glanced down at him, perplexed, then glanced over at Bucky and blinked.

            “James, it may be best to release him,” Thor said, calmly. Clint was thankful Thor was being reasonable until Bucky shot him a glance and lowered his arm, still holding the agent with his metal arm. He glowered at the man.

            “Shall I tell him?” Bucky growled at the agent. Thor blinked, confused.

            “Tell me what?”

            “Buck don’t you dare,” Clint warned.

            He told him anyways, of course. That made Clint bury his face in his palm as Thor’s eyes went dark and he stalked over. The agent, for the most part, lost his tough guy bravado and was now sputtering out apologies. Didn’t matter how “bad ass” they were, Clint mused. The sight of Clint’s two very pissed off lovers sent the most hardened of men packing.

            It had started simply enough after New York. Clint was isolating himself from everyone due to Loki’s mind control and everyone worried. Worried enough that Thor returned after the mess in London to just talk with him and make sure he was all right, feeling incredible guilt at his brother’s role in Clint’s spiral into isolation. The simple fact Thor refused to leave his side warmed the archer’s heart.

            So when Steve found Bucky again sometime after the mess in D.C., a broken, disheveled man, Clint thought he could possibly help the man, knowing what it was like to have someone go into your head and play around with it. Steve may have helped him regain his memories and Stark “deprogramming him”, but it was Clint who provided the support he really needed. After all, who else had someone go into their mind and play around?

            He found that he was close to both men…and deeply attracted to them both. Much to his distress, of course, and he spent most of his time trying to figure out a way to sort out his own feelings.

            And that was when he noticed that Thor and Bucky were both….territorial over him, shooting daggers at one another for simply being _near_ the archer. It went on for quite some time until Clint walked in to the two men glaring down at one another, witnessing Thor telling the soldier he didn’t trust the former assassin with his “little hawk” and Bucky threatening to show Thor the extent of his arm’s capabilities if he dared address Clint like an object ever again, both men refusing to stand down.

            (This, also, was when Clint lovingly decided to nickname them both The Zax, much to their embarrassment and Clint’s amusement).

            It was then that Clint threw caution to the wind and decided that maybe it wouldn’t be that big of a deal to maybe spend time with both, just to sort out his own feelings. Nothing serious. Just…figuring out his own complicated feelings regarding both men. Turns out, he was deeply attracted to both, and both Thor and Bucky seemed to have rubbed off on the other.

            How that led to _this_ , no idea.

            “James, Thor, _enough_ ,” Clint snapped. “Put him down. For fucks sake.”

            Bucky frowned at that, but complied, releasing his grip. He let the agent drop to the floor with a thud, letting the man scurry off in panic. The archer crossed his arms, glaring.

            “He insulted your honor, Little Hawk,” Thor stated, coming to Bucky’s defense.

            “You were going to hit him with Mjolnir – I know that look you get.”

            Thor looked sheepish then. Bucky remained unmoved.

            “You shouldn’t tolerate it, Clint,” Bucky stated. His voice, as usual, was even.

            “That doesn’t mean you need to turn into the Terminator either,” Clint said with a sigh. “Look….I get that you both worry as as…flattering-“

            _And arousing_.

            “-as it is, just frigging chill for a little bit. I’m fine, aren’t I?”

            Bucky grumbled something that Clint knew was agreement. He sighed, relaxing as he went up to the former Winter Soldier, arms still crossed, resting his forehead against his own. He felt the man relax.

            “Good…I’m going to go finish my training and I’m heading back,” Clint said, drawing back from the man. “I’m not in the mood to cook so we’re going out,” he added. “And for the love of god, if you two go and beat his head in, I’m going to be annoyed,”

            “We won’t beat his head in,” Bucky scoffed.

Clint shot a look at Thor.

            “I will make sure he doesn’t.”


	2. Assembly Required

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint's really sick of their current sleeping arrangements.

            When the three moved in together, Clint knew that a simple queen sized bed wasn’t going to work for very long, despite Bucky and Thor’s mutual enjoyment of Clint being forced to alternate sleeping on top of one or the other. Thor was broad shouldered, and while Bucky didn’t move while he slept, Clint couldn’t handle being totally crushed between the two for much longer.

            That, and it made any sort of…bedroom antics difficulty at best.

            “I’m sick and tired of playing sex-Tetris,” Clint grumbled into the phone, voice low, checking the price and dimensions on a bed.

            He had to take the initiative to go out and buy a new bed, knowing that, if he didn’t, Bucky and Thor would have kept up with the current living arrangements. That, and he didn’t trust Bucky or Thor in Ikea.

            “It isn’t that bad,” he heard Bucky state through the phone.

            “You almost fell off the bed last time,”

            “It isn’t that bad,”

            “I also pulled a muscle in my groin and Thor hit his head on the headboard,” Clint sighed, moving onto the next bed. “This one’s nice - it has drawers underneath for storage,”

            “You and Thor don’t put anything away in general, so why bother?” Bucky asked, dryly. Clint opted to ignore the comment.

            “Come on, it’ll be better. We’ll all get a better night’s sleep and everything else will be better,” Clint stated, almost whining. He didn’t want to openly discuss their sex life in public. “This one’s got a metal headboard with railings,”

            “Clint, I really don’t care,” Bucky sighed. The archer grumbled, glanced about, and then lowered his voice.

            “You wanted to use cuffs, right?”

            “A metal headboard, huh?”

            “Glad to see we’re on the same page finally,” Clint said with a smirk. It didn’t take much, really, to get both men on board. “King sized, enough room for storage underneath….reasonably priced…”

            He was just hoping they weren’t going to break the damned thing with their passionate lovemaking. Or Thor and Bucky’s strength.

            Like the last time.

            “We just need to assemble it,”

            “…We need to assemble it ourselves…”

            “It’s cheaper than going to an actual store and getting looks again,” Clint said dryly.

            “Cheaper? I’d rather pay extra to have someone else do the job,”

            “Lazy ass,” Clint muttered. Sometimes they could be…difficult. “Tell you what, if you and Thor get the damned thing put together I’m both of ours for the evening,”

            “…When will it be coming in?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not exactly pleased with this chapter, as I'm still exploring their dynamics. All I got so far is Clint is the only reasonable one.


	3. Shouldn't Have Done That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's never wise to hold Clint hostage.

            All they were supposed to do was make sure that S.H.I.E.L.D researcher and his data was recovered before his location was found. And they got him out just in time, as the facility was flooded by gunmen moments after. Clint, shamefully, was caught off guard as his earpiece failed, preventing him from preparing for their advance. He wondered if Bucky and Thor – taking care of the perimeter – knew what was going on.

            He was shoved, roughly, to his knees before the others and he could feel the cold barrel of a pistol against the side of his head, wincing as it was roughly jammed against him. He could sense another barrel trained on him from another gunman. The two assailants were smarter than they looked. An Avenger made for a pretty bargaining chip.

            Natasha almost broke her usual calm and nearly went for the man before Steve put his arm out. The spy settled for drawing her gun instead. Clint’s captors didn’t waste any time getting to the point.

            “Give us ginger bastard, we give back Avenger dick,”

            Clint grunted as the barrel was shoved, roughly against his skull with each word. He could see the fire in Natasha’s eyes as Steve held her still.

            “…You might want to let him go.”

            Clint actually glanced up a bit to look at Steve. Normally the captain didn’t talk like that, but given the team he was with…

            “You no value his life?” the assailant growled. Clint heard the familiar click of the gun cocking back. Steve sighed.

            “No, seriously, you might want to listen to…”

            A loud, ungodly bang went off and the gunman behind him let out a pitiful squeak, gun clattering to the floor, dropping like a sack of cement. The man holding the pistol to his head looked up, stunned. He didn’t have time to pull the trigger when something flew past Clint’s head and he could hear a heavy, sickening thud and bones snapping as the man went flying. Clint turned his head, just enough, to see Mjolnir resting on his chest.

           Clint blinked, slightly, then heard familiar, heavy footfalls and he glanced up slightly, recognized the familiar, swaggering gait and in seconds he was pulled up by his shoulders and pulled into a tight hug, hearing soft Russian murmured into his ear.

            Then was pushed outwards as Bucky began alternating scolding and screaming at him in Russian as he lightly shook him.

            “…Hey, Buck,” Clint stated. The man Bucky shot groaned and tried to sit up before he heard the thud of Thor landing and a sharp kick to the skull, knocking him out. Clint winced.

            Bucky continued to scream in angry, very Russian noises.

            “You were captured,” Thor pointed out above Bucky’s furious swearing.

            “The ear piece failed – this time it wasn’t my fault,” Clint said, hotly, becoming aware of Steve and Natasha staring at him as he was continued to be shaken by Bucky. “Buck, if you keep this up I’m gonna be sick over you.”

            More angry Russian from the former soldier. Thor put his hands on his shoulders, Bucky now reduced to snarling.

            “Calm, James,”

            “I watched you get dragged in here with a barrel to your head, you (more angry Russian sounds)! You are going to be the death of me, Barton!”

            And if Clint kept getting caught, Bucky was going to be the death of _him_.

            “…Well, be happy you were on the perimeter so you had a clear sight,” Clint stated.

            That only made Bucky turn purple with frustration. If the man hadn’t been so stressed and tightly wound, Thor probably would have joined in the scolding. But now he was trying to keep the former Winter Soldier from painfully murdering Clint’s would-be-killers and to keep him from killing Clint.

            “You are _not_ amusing me right now, Barton,” Bucky growled. Thor sighed.

            “James, he is fine. Relax your grip.”

            Clint was glad for Thor. Sometimes the god could reach Bucky during these moments when the archer couldn’t. The former soldier glowered, but released Clint, turning his attention back on the would-be-killers as his eyes darkened.

            Thor took the moment to pull Clint against him in a tight, reassuring embrace as soft thuds, pitiful groans and squeaks, and ugly crunching erupted from Bucky’s end.

            “I am glad you are safe, Little Hawk. James is too…he can be quite…well…”

            “Can we do this not in public?” Clint asked, dryly, becoming increasingly aware of Natasha snickering at him and Steve rubbing his forehead. Thor raised an eyebrow.

            “How else will you learn?”

            “You two are assholes…”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one story that my execution never managed to live up to what I wanted. Ah well.


	4. On Being Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint hopes his men have a good excuse for being late.

            It was rare that the three could go out and enjoy a nice, relaxing meal in privacy without people quickly recognizing Thor or staring at Bucky’s metal arm. Or the fact that, sometimes, the three gave out small, intimate gestures to one another and after the humiliating time when Clint caught a little boy asking his mother why Bucky and Thor often switched holding Clint’s hand. The archer imagined how awkward that must have been for the mother, now needing to explain to her six year old child about men being together as a couple, but also what a _ménage a trois_ was.

            Fortunately for Clint, they did have one place they could go to where they could be left to themselves and in peace without gawking eyes. It was normally a high end place during the later evening, but in the afternoon it was fairly laid back. They could go in, enjoy a nice meal (usually during happy hour, when everything was half off), and in relative privacy due to a closed off area near the bar. They had become regulars for this reason and now Clint only needed to call and their place was immediately saved, no questions asked.

            He did admit it was…pricey during regular hours (notably dinner), but he thought that it’d be nice to splurge just a little over the fact the three had been happily together for two years. For that he’d agree to dress nice, pay a little extra, and then return home and tend to the other’s needs.

            Well, that was the plan. If Thor and Bucky weren’t late, that is.

            That left Clint at the bar, glowering as he stared down into his drink, waiting, an empty dish in front of him to tide his growing hunger and annoyance. The bartender smiled, tended to another customer, and went back to Clint, leaning on the bar. She smiled.

            “Boys are late, Sweetheart?”

            “Almost by forty minutes, Kat,” Clint said, darkly. Kat smiled. For whatever reason, the three men gravitated to her with her sunny and friendly disposition, and she enjoyed them for their laid back nature (in comparison to the usual clientele). She took care of them, they took care of her, and a bond formed over time.

            “I have no idea how you do it. One’s bad enough, but two? Boy I’d be killing them both.”

            How she picked up on their arrangement, he had no idea. He was just glad she accepted it and kept her knowledge to herself.

            “I might tonight,” Clint glowered, tugging at the collar of his shirt. “…Forty- _five_ minutes now…I hope they have a good excuse,”

            “Oh I’d hope so. If they didn’t have an excuse on my anniversary I’d kill them myself…can I get you another order of sliders?”

            Clint went to respond when Kat lifted her head and smirked. The archer blinked and turned around, frowning when he saw Bucky and Thor sheepishly make their way in. Clint continued to glower as Kat chuckled, clearing the bar before him.

            “We can explain,” Bucky said first.

            “Forty- _eight­_ minutes,”

            “Little Hawk, please calm,” Thor stated, holding up his hands as if to calm Clint’s nerves. The archer glared as Kat refilled his beer glass, just smiling to herself, before heading off. “We were to be here earlier,”

            “Forty-eight minutes earlier, yes, I am aware. I’m hoping you have a good reason. Like someone died or was set on fire,”

            “Someone almost was,” Bucky growled, lowly, making Thor sigh. Clint raised an eyebrow at that, leaning back in the chair.

            “Alright, let me hear it,” Clint said with a sigh, resting his chin on his hand. “I could use a good laugh,”

            “It’s nothing. We went to get our suits and the dry cleaner was closed,” Bucky said with a shrug. “Turns out they close early on Fridays.”

Thor sighed, rubbing his neck.

            “We went to acquire new ones for the evening,”

            “And guess how recognizable Bolt is here,” Bucky grumbled. “We walked in and immediately he was swarmed by people.”

            Clint raised an eyebrow, ever so slightly.

            “…Go on…”

            “So we had to leave because we weren’t getting anywhere. So I ended up grabbing a tape measure and started to get his measurements,” Bucky added, glaring up at Thor, who looked sheepish. He turned back to Clint. “So I finally get them, I run in and grab what meets our measurements, then I ran out so we can change. Turns out I needed one size bigger – the seams burst on both sleeves,”

            “….But the jacket looks fine now,” Clint stated, his eyes rising to Thor’s jacket. “It shouldn’t have taken you that long to exchange a jacket,”

            “They wouldn’t take it back – apparently they thought I was trying to scam them out of a perfectly fine jacket. So guess who spent half the time fixing the damned thing,”

            “I did apologize, James,”

            “It took me nearly a half hour to sew it up properly. Meanwhile, he’s fretting about being late and I don’t trust him driving. I keep telling you we need to get him lessons,”

            “I’m not a child,” Thor grumbled. Bucky rolled his eyes.

            “Anyways, that’s why we’re late.”

            Clint just stared at the two men, dumbfounded at the fact they went through all that trouble. He paused, then sighed, sliding off the bar stool, grabbing his beer. He gave each man a quick peck on the cheek.

           “Alright, I’ll let it slide this time,” he stated, making his way down to their secluded table. “But just this time. Next time you two better listen to me when I say to drop your suits off earlier.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a story I enjoyed the premise of, but not really the execution.
> 
> Kat will becoming a recurring character now.

**Author's Note:**

> A friend once joked with me about combining my two OTPs of Thunderhawk and Winterhawk. This is the result.


End file.
